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How to get someone to text you
We’ve all been there. It’s late. You’re thinking about that person. You know the one. You’re thinking about their face. That nice thing they did. Naked. Naked. Naked. Naked. Genitals. So nice. Tingle...
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how to ‘not’ be offensive
“What does a long term open relationship entail? Do you have a primary partner, and go from there. Is that a stupid question-maybe. It doesn’t seem sustainable. How does it work without jealousy?” This...
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Do you share your ex-partners?
It’s a chilly spring day and you’re sitting in a café with your partner of a few months. You’re bonding over a hot chai and are all tingly in the energy you’re passing back and forth. It’s new and it’s...
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Strengthening Your Relationship
What would you define as an unhealthy relationship, or what makes a relationship unhealthy? I don’t think there’s one way – or an easy way – to define an unhealthy relationship. There are all kinds of...
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Playing The Role
There was something I wanted to add in addition to the conversation about healthy relationships. It was taken from some notes I found flipping through my notebook – likely ideas from a book I read or a...
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Making Monogamy Work
When I tell people I’m in an open relationship there are a small variable of answers spit back out at me. Generally it’s a combination of “what does that mean?” and “I don’t think I could do that.” I’m...
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What is monogamy, anyways?
A friend of mine was reading one of my blogs earlier today and asked me “what do you mean by monogamy?” It caused me to stop and think about the way that I write and how many things I’m putting into my...
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Fleeting Relationships
One thing that I have never been asked, but I think is particularly interesting, is the navigation of other relationships within an open relationship. I think it’s an interesting conversation to have...
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Poly Comics: Kimchi Cuddles
Check out Kimchi Cuddles at Tumblr for a cute, funny, and real look into poly life. I’m getting the itch to draw again! These are too good! Filed under: Relationships & Non-Monogamy Tagged: comic,...
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OKC QOTD
In my profile I specifically request that people don’t message me just to tell me they find me attractive. I feel strange getting my ego stroked by strangers. If someone is interested me I assume they...
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does the behavior of one influence the behavior of many?
I’ve been reading this article about the ethics of extreme porn since I woke up this morning. It hit a particular cord with me, because the author (and subsequent authors linked) could intellectually...
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The Casualness of Group Sex
A few years ago I went to a free book reading at a little bookstore in Portland. Christopher Ryan, co-author of Sex at Dawn, fielded questions about monogamy, and why his book hadn’t been widely...
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Flexible Relationships
I know, I know. It’s been days since I’ve blogged. I made promises. Life’s been happening and every time I’ve sat down to answer my questions I’ve been stumped. I don’t know how to answer them, not yet...
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The Introverts Guide to Looking Interested
It wasn’t until I read the book “Quiet” by Susan Cain that I realized I’d been lied to for my entire life. I wasn’t shy. I was introverted. The biggest difference for me was that I had no problem with...
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Role Models for Open Relationships
How do you picture your primary relationship and your other relationships to evolve over time as you get older? What when you’re say 40, or 50? We have few role models for open relationships at 50,...
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Open Relationships: Meet and Greet, and polyamory?
Do you and your partner always meet the other people you’re dating/meeting? This is a great question. I think that all couples like to handle this differently. I have talked to other people in open...
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You remind me of my ex, that’s why!
Every so often someone will ask me why we didn’t hit it off. Sometimes this happens after a date and I say that I’m just not interested anymore. Sometimes it happens if I’m just not responsive – or as...
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Ten “duh!” tips for OkCupid
In my personal experience, these ten tips will take you far in your use of OkCupid. What tips would you offer up to new (or frustrated) users? 1. Read their profile It might seem like common sense, but...
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Saying “You’re Sorry” After Infidelity
I have always been interested by infidelity and how it influences relationships in the United States, compared to other countries. European ones, for instance, are much more relaxed about infidelity....
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Children Aren’t Your Life
The other day I was having a conversation about children, and the subject of whether or not children are your life or part of your life. I should make an important note before saying anything about...
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